Release from my emotions of grief and loss

I’ve decided that today will be my last day to grieve about this relationship. This will be my last post about it because I feel that I’m at a point where I’m done with this. I’ve cried my last tear days ago and I can see there are little things that are annoying me but the more I get it all out the better I feel and the less I’m holding onto inside of me. I am doing my absolute best to stay out of judgement and out of ego about this whole thing. I do see it is a little difficult for me and some judgement creeped into my last few posts. LOL Hey, as I said I’m still learning. It’s a process and being judgement free does not happen over night. I can see that something drudged up a real old source of irritation from the past and it’s non-productive. It started out as an observation and ended up in a judgement.

The more I allow myself to stay in ego about this whole thing the more I sit there and think about how much of a stranger he is to me, how much all the circumstances around the ending annoy me, you know all of the wrong things. So today I’m telling myself to stop thinking about him anymore and from now on forward momentum towards better things in my life. My gratitude journal keeps me grounded and I have been faithly logging in that journal every night before bed. Morning coach podcasts have been inspirational and motivating and helping me get back on track of where I need to be. I’ve noticed in the last few days I have been eating more than what I have been usually eating lately. I know why I’m doing it and I can see myself reverting back to old patterns of coping with stress and abandonment. It is most important to remain self aware and not do things unconsciously. We can only save ourselves and can only improve our own lives so that is what each one of us should hold in highest priority.

I know that all of the inner work I have done on myself and that I am continuing to do will bring me a fulfilling relationship with another person when the time is right and that is the best I can hope for. For right now though the fulfilling relationship I have to have is with myself. So yea, today is the day that I am kissing this last relationship and all of the previous ones who came before it who were filled with disappointment… GOODBYE!