What Makes Me Happy

I have been thinking today about what makes me happy. We keep thinking that if we just achieve this, or we just acquire that, or just finally land this partner or relationship we can be happy. It’s the theme I hear being beaten over and over again. Looking for happiness outside of ourselves. This past week I’ve learned that no matter what, everything is going to be alright. My landlords have been absolute godsends when it comes to me getting them their rent while I catch up on my rent and bills. I was starting to panic, I was worrying about spending my money for necessities. I didn’t know how I was going to get my car payment in, but it’s been paid. I know I’m safe and secure because people are willing to give me the breathing room required to get yourself back on steady ground. The fear is gone. In the past couple of weeks, with all of the women I collaborate with, I seem to always have a cash flow coming in, and I have also gained very useful employment leads and people who are willing to give me recommendation. I’ve noticed every week for about the past five weeks I have received some kind of gift of some sort. It’s wonderful to feel valued. Plus my eyes are opening up more and more to things that have been right under my nose. More ways to make more streams of income coming in doing what I already know how to do, blog marketing.

So I decided to rename this blog once again to my gratitude journal. Again the theme was going on happiness and realizing all of the things I am absolutely grateful for. It’s the little things that make me happy. I love that it is so simplistic. Things like Pushing Daisies, and Heroes, Dirty Sexy Money, and all of these neat little apps that Mandy keeps finding like this thing called Twhirl which allows me to log into all of my twitter accounts at the same time and monitor all of the updates of those I’m following. I have gratitude for there being six Dunkin Donuts within a 15 mile radius in any direction of my home and the realization that I can have anything I want. Nobody has the right to tell me I don’t. I’m grateful for new movies that make us look at ourselves. Movies like The Women, which I saw last night. Some people said it was a disappointment, but I liked it. A movie has to be really bad for me not to like it though lol. I can identify with the movie from various perspectives and it reminded me of how grateful I am that I am not in a relationship with a cheater, regardless of the roll that I play. I’m even more grateful that I am no longer enabling any cheaters. It has reminded me of how grateful I am of the women I have come to love because no matter what we go through, we still find ways to love each other and support and empower one another. I’m grateful for it because it gave me a reminder of what kind of person I don’t want to be and I know exactly the kind of person I becoming. That person is someone who approaches everything from a loving place.

It’s not an easy thing to do for a lot of us. We get so used to living our lives guarded and bottled up to a degree that to be brave enough to always remain open-hearted no matter what the situation we face is a challenging feat. But the most important thing that I am grateful for is that I made a decisive choice to live my life this way and to not beat myself up when I stumble and fall and when I catch myself being human. I know that I can always choose to not be that way and continue on the current path of my life.