Understanding The Ego
August 27, 2008
I’ve been absorbed in Eckhart Tolle’s works these days. I’m reading a New Earth and also listening to Practicing the Power of now meditation. I grasp some of what he is saying but then there is stuff that I’m just not ready to understand, I feel. It’s like when I was trying to learn from Abraham-Hicks and everything they were saying sounded greek to me and then all of a sudden one day it clicked. The basic understanding I have is to free ourselves from ego, the awaken to the presence within us and be present. To be the observer, I get that. I don’t know if I am successful at doing it yet.
Looking over everything I write and the thoughts going through my mind about events shows me how much I am still in the ego mind. Egoism is there a little bit. Comparing myself to others, judging their actions against mine. I think for the first time I caught a glimmer of what he really means. All of this stuff that has happened with my relationship, I’ve kept identifying it as having happened to ME. It was being done to me. But the fact is it’s just events that have happened that didn’t have an outcome that I would have liked. My expectations which were of the ego were not met and I saw all of this as a personal attack on me because of whatever reasons.
I’ve realized that given what knowledge I had, I did the best I knew how in this relationship. It’s only now that I am starting to have my eyes open up to more. I cannot fault myself for how I handled these things. I cannot fault anyone, they are just doing what they currently know. Hindsight is always 20/20, there is a reason for this saying. But I will understand these new philosophies, that is for sure. I will continue to read and study until it becomes crystal clear within me and I have a full understanding it and of myself. Right now I can see that I’m sort of functioning within it, sort of like when I have to play around with a new code language and I know how to get around in there and work with it but I don’t have this full complete understanding of the language just yet. But I have faith that I will and I keep pressing on.
The Ego is a fragile thing and amazing how much control it actually has over our lives. Challenging it will be it’s undoing and the freeing of ourselves. We are all sort of living in a very plugged-in sort of reality in a very Matrix kind of way at the moment. The reality that our Ego mind has created for us and it’s our responsibility to awaken ourselves from it’s grip on our lives. So the question is, do you want to take the blue pill or the red pill and see just how far down the rabbit hole goes?
