Pretty Women

August 31, 2008

It’s taken me some serious analysis of certain male behavior and I have come to the conclusion that if you appear to have your shit together, and are strong, independent, appearing to be successful and career driven you will be rejected. Why? This makes him feel like less of a man. If she’s pretty to the point where that combined with everything else intimidates a man to nervousness about his feelings for you, you will be rejected. It makes them feel out of control, unsafe to express feelings, and inferior. The song sums it up pretty good. Conversations that I have with other men who chat with me on a regular basis are always telling me that they are nervous even when chatting with me over the computer. I intimidate quite a lot of men. That would explain a lot.

Lyrics:
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Sax solo]

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match
Take it from me, she’s a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Spoken:]
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an’ she’s ug-leeee!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Written by nicole · Filed Under Consciousness

Idealism vs realism

August 30, 2008

Many people in my life or who have been in my life are Realists. I guess I have always been an Idealist. A lot of the time I cannot understand their logic. I do realize that for every situation the reality of it is what it is. However, if I had accepted the reality that I didn’t know how to design a website or know anything about the workings of the web I would never have thought it was possible that I could teach myself everything that I know today. Yet here I am six years later with a wealth of knowledge on a myriad of things that pertain to earning a living through the internet. I am fully aware of the social climate of the times and as contradictory as this might be… I earn a good portion of my living by that understanding, however I do not live my life by that same mind of the times.

I choose not to connect my thinking into the current social collective consciousness which most people currently do. I am staying more and more away from reality tv, tabloids, and over all general fodder that is permeating it’s way into our lives through every form of media available. I will agree that yes, I am more in tune with a different stream of consciousness that is for I believe is my betterment. That has created cause for me losing various friendships and relationships in my life in the last 18 months. So while most of the people in my life are zigging, I’m zagging. It’s not to say either one is right or wrong, but it will determine where you end up in your life for sure. I just think that every time we choose something for ourselves that is not aligning us with better for us we will create a chain reaction of things that are not good for our lives.

I see this going on in my life daily in different things that I do. I want to change that and I can see where my problem areas still exist. I can see that there are things that I do that are completely unconscious and even though I know they are not smart choices I do them because of lower thinking and then the reprecussions of those actions just makes matters worse for me. They are just habits and compulsions I have had for a very long time and learning how to break them is proving to be challenging. It requires changing your beliefs about everything you think about those particular areas in your life. LOL there are thoughts in my head that I am fighting at this very moment because the post I was planning on writing today had nothing to do with this but did have to do with what I have currently observed. Learning to train my mind to not go to some deeply ingrained beliefs and ways of viewing things can be a daunting task and I see the contradictions in some of my posts.

I just know that being more like how I was a few years ago… saying downright despicable things to people is not who I want to be. Having experience with other people who represent those behaviors within myself have allowed me to take a REALLY good look inside and identify those characteristics within me that need changing. I believe there will be a day where I won’t have the ill-thoughts towards others who I perceive to be hurtful. I believe there will be a day when I can conquer my own feelings and my own mouth and not say hurtful things or do anything that is hurtful to others as well. Recognizing that unconscious emotional knee-jerk reactions are detrimental to what I’m striving to achieve was a big thing to see.

So in any event… I’m not better than anyone and nobody is better than me. There is no “good” or “bad” way and no “right” and “wrong”. There are just different ways of doing things and getting different results due to them. LOL I still prefer to look at life as an idealist and seeing things for how I want them to be instead of how they are. Otherwise what chance do we have for changing the things we don’t want in our lives? Albert Einstein has said that the most important question a human can ask themselves is “Is this a friendly universe”?

Written by nicole · Filed Under Consciousness

Release from my emotions of grief and loss

August 29, 2008

I’ve decided that today will be my last day to grieve about this relationship. This will be my last post about it because I feel that I’m at a point where I’m done with this. I’ve cried my last tear days ago and I can see there are little things that are annoying me but the more I get it all out the better I feel and the less I’m holding onto inside of me. I am doing my absolute best to stay out of judgement and out of ego about this whole thing. I do see it is a little difficult for me and some judgement creeped into my last few posts. LOL Hey, as I said I’m still learning. It’s a process and being judgement free does not happen over night. I can see that something drudged up a real old source of irritation from the past and it’s non-productive. It started out as an observation and ended up in a judgement.

The more I allow myself to stay in ego about this whole thing the more I sit there and think about how much of a stranger he is to me, how much all the circumstances around the ending annoy me, you know all of the wrong things. So today I’m telling myself to stop thinking about him anymore and from now on forward momentum towards better things in my life. My gratitude journal keeps me grounded and I have been faithly logging in that journal every night before bed. Morning coach podcasts have been inspirational and motivating and helping me get back on track of where I need to be. I’ve noticed in the last few days I have been eating more than what I have been usually eating lately. I know why I’m doing it and I can see myself reverting back to old patterns of coping with stress and abandonment. It is most important to remain self aware and not do things unconsciously. We can only save ourselves and can only improve our own lives so that is what each one of us should hold in highest priority.

I know that all of the inner work I have done on myself and that I am continuing to do will bring me a fulfilling relationship with another person when the time is right and that is the best I can hope for. For right now though the fulfilling relationship I have to have is with myself. So yea, today is the day that I am kissing this last relationship and all of the previous ones who came before it who were filled with disappointment… GOODBYE!

Written by nicole · Filed Under Presence