Dream About The World

Mostly my intentions for recording any dreams on this blog is more for my own record of the dreams than it is to really show any kind of importance to anyone other than myself.  I want to say about two weeks ago I had a dream and it was about A. Crowley. I do not particularly like the thought that I had a dream about him but the fact is I did. Now I cannot remember entirely if he was in my dream, all I know was that there was a man in the dream who was running around frantically trying to make things happen. Kind of like crazily consumed in his work.

I suppose that it would have only been a matter of time before I would have a dream related to the subject of him because well when you start to delve into esotericism and the occult world of the mystery schools his name undoubtedly comes up no matter where you go. As I was coming out of my dream I heard someone tell me “Thelema is what is wrong with the world”. I don’t know if that was my own subconscious mind telling me that or my higher mind or my guide. Who knows, but as I continue on my journey to discover the true nature of the world the answers will be revealed. All I know is that it’s not for me to say whether or not that is a true statement or not. I’m just doing my best to remember my dreams as I have them. 

A Sad Dream

Yesterday I was feeling a little tired. I think I forgot to take my melatonin before I went to sleep so I tend to wake up feeling groggy if I miss it. Let me tell you, having started on the melatonin has been such an amazing transformation for me as far as being able to sleep through the night. If you are unaware of what I’m talking about, melatonin is a natural secretion that we have in our brain through part of the endocrine system. It helps regulate the circadian rhythm in our bodies and regulates sleep.  It is produced by the pineal gland and as we get older may have very little production of this hormone.  Since some of us might not have a lot of this hormone being produced in our bodies you might be surprised to find yourself having very vivid, lucid, dreams. This is a common side effect.

So during my little mid-afternoon nap I had a dream about my mother and I was actually talking to her. I have not had a dream about her since she passed away and then when I did it was only a dream about the family cemetery.  In my dream I was having an actual conversation with her and all I can remember is asking her was “where is Nellie”? She replying to me in the house with Ed. It was like I had encountered her. I was looking for someone and there she was. I was so happy and something snapped me out of it and I could feel the pain of the loss. I woke up crying which is something I have never had happen to me before. So needless to say I have had a little bit of melancholy since.

I love her and miss her so much. I didn’t think I could miss someone that much. I thought I was over my grief. I made it a year so it should be time to move on. But I am stupid to let myself believe that in only a year I could be over something that traumatic. So there is just this bitter sweet feeling I have about this dream. For one I had the chance to talk to her but then there was the sadness of being separated from her again. I’m just grateful I got to talk to her again and she looked happy and peaceful.