I’ve been thinking for a couple of weeks now about getting a new start on my life. I have had a desire to be a makeup artist but I just don’t know how attainable of a goal this is for me at this moment. I can get financial aid and a student loan and make it happen while I struggle with my current employment wondering how I am going to make ends meet, or I can get a permanent or temporary job and make a base salary to support myself and then everything else I make would be gravy. I am currently undecided. The one thing I do know is that I need to come up with a fabulous resume for myself that showcases my very marketable skills. On the other hand, I want to get my esthetics or cosmetology license so I can legally do makeup in NY as a freelancer or working in a salon. I went to a school to take a look at what they have to offer and I don’t know if I really want to commit to a student loan for $10,000 to cover my expenses. One thing I know is, no matter what age I am, I can always go to cosmetology school or esthetics and fulfil that dream.

I find that whenever I am with someone new, I tend to get more involved in their problems and helping them than I am worried about taking care of myself. It’s a common distraction that I have. I don’t know if it’s my way of avoiding what I need to change in myself or my way of seeing what I need to change in myself. That is something I haven’t quite figured out.  Getting a steady job would be a good thing in many ways. First of all, if I were to take a permanent position, I would have health benefits. That could open the door for so many other things that I want to get done.  I could finally make getting lapband a reality for me. I’ve talked about lapband in the past and I was kind of put off by it in 2009 when I went to a seminar at the local hospital and felt like a cattle herd rounded up so that the hospital could make a ton of money.

IN all honesty, I feel getting a full time job is the more eminent decision to make right now. I have to get myself out into my own place and get my cats settled once and for all. Make up can always come next year or several months from now. It’s not something that is going to break my heart if I don’t do it right at this moment.  My immediate need is to get myself reunited with my kitties and be secure in a place of my own. I need a full time job to help me do that. This way I can continue doing what I’m doing at night and what I earn from it is a good extra income.  That is what I have to accomplish right now.